Skip to main content

Writtings - A letter to a friend

I love that I took time to save the letters I have written It is a nice way to remind me of what happened as the memory has faded.

12FEB2000



Dear Candy,

As you will see there are two letters here for you. This one and the one on the blue cloud paper. I hope you are well and enjoy both letters. Well I wanted to follow-up before I sent this out and finish my story from the other night...

Well Chris (that is her name if you forgot) told me on Saturday that she fasted and got the answer that she and I should not date at all, but that we should remain friends no matter what. We did not see each other for the following days but kept in touch and that was all fine well and good.

On Wednesday she needed to wash some clothes and came over as we were waiting for the clothes to finish we hung out and played around in a good way. Then out of nowhere, we end up kissing again. And this time it was not so much the make out as before. But none the less we were in the same place.  And she sends me the e-mail that is after this page.

On Thursday we go to Institute and have a good time and after she asks if she can come over to watch a movie. During the movie we end up kissing some more and this time it is different...there is growing passion and I know that this needs to stop. But oh I am into it. I know that it is building into a huge mistake and I try to pull away a few times but then give into temptation and go full force into the situation. When I hear something on the television, the movie is still playing there. 

“Sometimes keeping a promise is more important then doing what you want.”

WOW! At that point and remembering her e-mail, I pull away from the whole thing And the magic of the moment is lost in the spirit of responsibility. But then we both end up looking at each other with a bit of resentment. We were both doing wrong and we both knew it. But dang it was so much fun.
Then on Friday night we don't talk at all and that is OK because she had stuff the did not involve me going on and I the same.

But then comes Saturday morning she calls and tells me what a good time she had with her stuff and I share that I too had a good time with my stuff. Then she springs on me that she cannot ever come to my house ever again and that she sees some things in herself that she dose not like and that this is for the best. Now I am a bit letdown that we did right and stopped but now I am being taken out of the equation because of her reasons. I fell like I am being punished and I have done nothing wrong. It is a hard place to be and understand.

I am getting tired of being her secret from the world and that I feel like an old toy that is so fun to play with when no one is around. It is hard to be single. And it sucks. I wish I could get past this stuff. It sucks.

Well I start at American in just one week. And I am so happy about the new job and hopefully a new life too, as I will be moving from here and closer to Hartford. Well I am going to close for now and hope that you and the events in your life are going well. And that your friend Tim is choosing the right. And that you also don't get sucked into the vortex that he might jump into. No use you drowning if he plays in the forbidden water. Gosh, I love you!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Dream - NSFW

 I just woke from a dream In the dream it is Christmas time in your very large house I was staying in Nicholas's room as I was sick for the day. I had been sleeping. His room was messy as usual You were to come check on me in the day but this did not happen I was wearing my usual undershirt and boxer briefs I remember the Christmas decorations as being the family ones Nicholas arrived and I talked to him about his room and then I started getting ready to leave You see me and are unhappy that I did not come visit with you but I was not doing so because you were working in the house somewhere for your job I start to go back up the stairs and you follow and I trip and you grab a horse whip, orange and rigid for about 4 feet and then a slack rope line about 5 feet. You whip me and the back with a pull back flick that barely hits me but stings. This happen 6-8 times. I recall that I was disappointed that the sting was not a full on the back contact by the whip.  You are now sitting...
Post a Comment
Read more

Journal Entry - 02 FEB 2021 - A trip to Mushroom Land

 Dear Chris, Last Friday I was feeling very low, I dont have any reason for this but I decided to call in sick to work because I could not deal with helping other people with their insurance problems. About 1030am I got the email that I was covid free but still feeling fatigued.  I tried to take a nap but this did not work.  At 1pm I took what remained of the magic mushrooms (2.4 grams) and added lemon juice to it and laid back down for it do its break down the structure of the mushrooms. (look up lemon tek) I had taken the mushrooms before and felt that they just got me high and I was expecting pretty much the same. No hallucinations, just high. I added a little hot water to the lemon mushroom stuff and drank it like a tea. I really don"t like the flavor of the Golden Teacher mushrooms and chased my tea with a cookie and a little milk. The prior mushroom experiences were like I said, a mild high and I was watching TV shows on Netflix. This time I would not watch any medi...
Post a Comment
Read more